a prayer of sorts

If the sum of what I am in this life never amounts to be anything more than yet another attempt at the soul-bending search for the true self, my efforts will not be in vain. I am confident in my findings thus far, that if nothing else, I will remain human, subject to pain, misery, heartache and loss. In a world that revolves around the self, subjugated by monarchies of misrepresentation I stake my claim. I have not lived well, quite the contrary, I have been to the bottom of the barrel, down to the depths of the unknown. A journey that has led me through twists and turns, ups and downs, and left me with an unfulfilled hollowness that resonates through my entire being. Though a resounding hope is offered, though a deliverance from the doldrums of depravity exists I have eluded its rescue and eloped with the iniquity of my own misguided desires. My impiety has left me used up, dried out, and cast from the eyes of the righteous in likeness to an ember tossed into the sky by flame only to vanish into the blackness of the night and fall to ash under the weight of the world. At my wits end I have developed a newfound desire to shroud my soul from existential extinction and to safe guard my heart from heresy and it gives me purpose. I am here to embrace sovereignty as deemed necessary by the Lord God. It is my thirst for the true and unmitigated life of a servant of the Devine that I have come to distinguish as my sustenance. I have made the choice to begin again, to embrace a most undeserved second chance. I want nothing more than a clean slate. My journey has been amended, my malady has been apprehended, and my soul has been atoned for. I thank God for my life.