Hope

i have seen it. tonight my soul aches.
there is no hope.

the world is a dark and dismal place and we are nothing more, we have no worth greater than that of a rain drop thrown from the sky to fall without effort to our demise. to come face to face with the cold hard cement that tears us apart, breaks us and leaves us to puddle and stagnate.

we are so fragile. yet we force ourselves to be strong. afraid to let anyone around us know that death promises a blissful escape.

i have seen man at his bitter end. crawling in the dirt, screaming for the darkness to vail his eyes forever.

alone, we are all alone. we only truly care about ourselves. back any man into a corner, threaten him force your cold steel blade of hatred against his throat and the only thought that keeps him sane is that of selfishness.

how do we live, how do we go day after day after day with ourselves, tolerating ourselves?

blackness, bitterness, betrayal...human.

when i see what we have become. when i look deep in to the eyes of brokenness when i share tears with torment. when i hold the hand of hopelessness. when i fall to me knees this existence gives way to the truth that we are all so very confused.

show me a man that understands his life that truly knows who he is and i will show you a man that is rotting, decayed with lies. i will show you a man in which evil and sin darkens his heart to the extent that his blood runs black. his wounds bleed without ceasing and it drips and drowns every single righteous aspect of his soul.

can you see it

the good extends its arms upwards breaking the surface its voice gargles and gasps for a chance at breath. soaked with the blackness it sinks. its cries are lost. and the liquid surrounds it until it cannot be distinguished until it becomes the darkness.

hope?

there is no hope.

there is only truth and that truth is that there is only death

If man were immortal he could be perfectly sure of seeing the day when everything in which he had trusted should betray his trust, and, in short, of coming eventually to hopeless misery. He would break down, at last, as every good fortune, as every dynasty, as every civilization does. In place of this we have death. ~Charles Sanders Peirce

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sorry to all whom log on to my blog each day expecting a new post.
please understand that when i post on this blog it is in the apex of my creativity.

usually it covers something dramatic that i have been pondering or something meaningful that i have experienced. So one could say that i am inspired at the exact moment that finger touches key.

Creativity is not an ongoing process. Usually in the early hours of the morning when most are writing their experiences deep with in their dreams i am in the process of sharing mine with you on the pages of this blog.

inspiration comes to me and in that inspiration the unknows are revealed to me.


please stay faithful. it is my hope that your soul is satisfied with the reading of my reactionary revelations

Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.

-Edwin Land-

in darkness

it seems that in the deepest darks of the night we find our true character. and it would seem that in the depth of this night i have found my own.

i do not wish to live my life wanting for my desires, regretting that i do not hold them firmly in my hand and lock them away within my heart, only to receive them and then regret the gaining.

some how my mind is clouded and i do not see another option. we regret because we lack only to never be satisfied when we gain.

man has placed himself between himself, that is, we prevent ourselves from ever truly knowing what it is to be... complete. i fear that i stand in my own path blocking the desires of my heart from ever completing their journey. i am at war with my own.

fear stands together with ambiguity like solider with sword daring me to attack and taste the might of its blade.

and i tremble on the battle field, knees knocking, with the footsteps of fear's formation. how do i overcome? how is this battle won?

i can see the victory it flashes before my eyes. but what of regret for the destruction of the foe. does not any man tremble with remorse at the sight of his enemy (no matter how evil) bloodied and broken at his feet.

then should we be so caught up in the victory that we forget the fight?

and with the dawn of the next day regret that our struggle did not achieve us more.

i want to get what it is that i want. i am bold, i am brave, and i can. fear is nothing more than a pebble ground into the soil of the footprint of desire.

i find my self tonight

i find myself

and i will not lose to fear. i will not regret because i will gain and in gaining negate not having more because i will have achieved it all.

I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; new, universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him; or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favor in a more liberal sense, and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings. In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weekness. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. -Henry David Thoreau, Walden (chapter 18)